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Simon had finished warming down, his back taking the extra work it always needed, and came into the locker room just
in time to hear an amazingly loud bang as Sonny slammed shut the door of his locker.
"Shit. 'You okay?"
"Sure."
"That
isn't the sound of a happy man."
"The only thing that I'm not happy about is not getting to ring Gilberti and Johnny's
necks 'till their eyes popped out."
"We'll get them next time, because we'll be ready for them, and Trinity. If they didn't
have her, we'd have got them this time. Maybe we ought to get Traci to steal her make-up and then she wouldn't come out with
them."
"'Think that would work?"
Then in unison they said, "Nah."
"I know that there's something bugging you."
"It's
stupid, I know I shouldn't let them get to me." That was easier said than done. Johnny knew how to get to Simon, and Gilberti
was second only to Kash in his ability to get under your skin and worm his way into your brain 'til you wanted to kill him
so badly that you forgot about everything else, including getting the win, and that was when they won.
"It's just,"
Sonny continued, "it's really difficult to explain, because it's something that pisses me off, but when they do the same thing
to you, you don't seem to mind."
Simon tried to think of something that Gilberti and Johnny had done to both of them
recently, and couldn't think of anything, except the cheating, and Simon was as pissed off as Sonny about that.
"You're
going to have to explain. I think I might have missed something."
"I said you wouldn't get it."
"Hey try me. Just 'cause
I'm a bit dumb doesn't mean I won't get it eventually."
"It's the mat skirt." Okay so getting dressed in a skirt is
a little annoying but it was nothing really, not compared to the other things that Johnny and Gilberti had done. "I know what
they were trying to do, just dress me up in a skirt, ha-ha how funny, see he's a pussy 'cause he and his ancestors wear skirts.
Only they weren't. These men fought and lived in those skirts 'cause it was the most practical thing to wear. Now they're
not, but they still mean something, the mat skirts, and I'm just pissed off that they don't understand that. How do you cope?
I mean, they were one step away from dressing a midget up in green and a red beard."
"Well for a start I'm Irish American
not just Irish so there's slightly less of a target to get. Anyway, everyone knows that Ireland's moved on a bit from the
leprechauns. It's a useful way of selling holidays to gullible Americans," here Simon let himself drop into a stereotypical
Irish accent, "and making some money out of the damned English." Simon reverted back to his normal voice, "plus it gives people
an excuse to act up on the seventeenth of March."
Sonny laughed. "That's the thing man, you know that, I know that,
nine tenths of people know that. But do people know that about Samoa?"
Simon had to admit that Sonny had a point, "I had
kind of guessed, but I'll be the first to admit that I know nothing about Samoa other than it seems to produce some good wrestlers,"
he punched Sonny in the arm here, "and that its good at rugby. But I don't think any of us are expected to be examples of
the best of our community, I leave that shit up to Teddy Kennedy."
"I suppose you're right."
"Of course I am."
"They
just shouldn't be messing with things they don't understand."
"There's an awful lot of things they do that they shouldn't."
Sign lists they shouldn't, act like jackasses when they were your best man, Johnny and Gilberti always did what they shouldn't.
"You know what I recommend?"
"What?"
"We hit them harder next time." That, to Sonny, didn't sound like much more
than what they were already doing. "And since they seem to be so fond of stereotypes you bring the traditional coconuts, and
I'll bring a spear."
"Spear?"
"You mean you've never heard of Cu Chulain? Ancient Irish hero, fought with a spear, won
many great battles."
"I'm pretty certain I could find a similar legend in Samoan history."
"Spears all round then."
"We'd
never be allowed to use them."
"No. Sucks doesn't it." Simon laughed. "At least you've got a stereotypical weapon you can
use in the ring, I don't think poisoning them with Guinness would work."
"That and it's a waste of good alcohol."
"We're
back to hitting them as hard as we can."
"It's been a good plan so far, it would have worked if it hadn't been for Trinity."
"So
we hit them hard, but make sure Trinity is locked in a cupboard beforehand."
"Sounds good."
"That it does." Simon got
up to get a shower. "Just remember that they're trying to wind you up. Letting them know it's worked just makes them happy."
Smiling
Sonny said, "I'll remember that next time you come back in here saying how much you want to ring Johnny's neck."
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