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~~~~
Chuck knew he was being irrational. There was no other word
for it. He knew that nothing was happening, but he kept thinking that there could be.
Yes, Sean was usually the
insanely jealous one, the one who threatened people for just breathing wrong in Chuck's direction, but this time it was Chuck
who was making a whole lot out of nothing. Of course there was nothing going on, one, Sean wouldn't do anything like
that to him, and two, Mark was straight, as a die, as a rake, as a however else you finish off that simile.
That didn't
convince Chuck though; he had an unshakeable feeling that there was something going on between them. That was the thing,
there could be. They had the time and the opportunity, because Sean and Mark were always together, okay so Sean spent
time with Chuck too, but mostly he was with Mark.
They'd be exercising together, or catching a game together, or out
shopping together. As strange as that last one sounded, Sean did most of his shopping with Mark.
Basically, he
did everything with Mark except for sleep with him, and Chuck couldn't be convinced that they weren't doing that together
as well.
They had this strange rapport, it was like mind-reading almost, they could finish each other's sentences,
guess what the other was thinking about, it was like one brain shared over two people.
Chuck remembered an example.
He'd been sitting in a diner with Sean, and Mark of course, and Mark went to the toilet. The waitress came over and
asked for the order, Chuck ordered and Sean ordered, and then Sean ordered for Mark.
Mark came back, says had the waitress
been because he wanted to order this, this and this, and Sean told him not to worry because he had ordered that already.
Chuck tried to reason with himself; that that wasn't a sign of anything, because one diner's nearly the same as another, and
if someone orders something at one, there's a good chance that they'll want the same at another. Chuck could do the
same for Billy, and they weren't sleeping together.
There were other examples, more intangible. Like when Sean
and Mark, when they were still at OVW, challenged Chuck and Billy to a basketball match.
The sides were evenly matched
so it should have been a close game.
Billy and Chuck got smashed, walloped, routed and generally beaten by about 100
points. The main reason was that Sean would get into impossible positions, and then made a crazy pass that they were
certain would go out of bounds. But no, Mark would appear from nowhere to just the right spot, even though no one could
have guessed that that was where Sean would pass to.
There was an easy physical intimacy too, which was odd, 'cause
Mark was the very definition of 'Me Tarzan, You Jane' machoness, he should by all rights object. But he didn't and that
was what Sean liked about him, Mark was a great friend because, 'he's really a friend, he doesn't give a damn what I do, 'cause
we're friends.'
That was what hurt the most, the way they were with each other. He'd seen them sitting together like a perfect
fit, like that was how they were supposed to be, and Mark had seen him, and waved him over.
Mark moved to the other
side of the booth, leaving Sean and Chuck on the other side. And Sean wasn't comfortable, that was obvious, he kept
moving and fidgeting until he was sitting apart from Chuck.
'That wasn't a good sign was it?' thought Chuck, 'My boyfriend
prefers sitting next to his friend, rather than sit next to me.'
Chuck was perfectly aware of how childish and irrational
he sounded. He daren't say anything to Sean, he'd said something once, completely innocuous, about why don't you spend
more time with me, and all he'd got from Sean was excuses, and that Chuck was sounding more like a nagging wife than the Chuck
he knew. Sean had continued, saying that he liked spending time with his friends, and that he thought it was worthwhile
since he had this dreadful feeling they'd end up getting split up, and never seeing each other again, whereas he and Chuck
were going to be forever.
Which had cheered Chuck up for a couple of weeks, 'cause you don't say things like that to
someone you don't love, do you?
So Sean had carried on spending time with Mark.
That was where he was going
right now, seeing Sean, who was at Mark's place. He knew he'd find them in some position that involved being draped
all over each other and looking perfect.
That was part of the problem. Mark and Sean looked so perfect together.
It was odd, because the three of them were more or less the same size and shape and build, but Mark and Sean looked perfect
together, while Chuck thought that he and Sean looked merely okay.
And that was what his mind tortured him with.
Visions of Sean and Mark looking spellbinding going at it. The pictures were so clear, and anatomically correct because
of all the time all three of them had spent together, that even Chuck thought it was beautiful. And that was what
worried Chuck the most, that one day, Sean and Mark would realise how perfect they were for each other, and that Sean would
leave him.
Chuck let himself in the front door and true to form, they were sprawled all over each other. Mark
was sort of half on Sean's chest and half on his lap reading a book or something, while Sean watched the sport on TV.
Mark
jumped up when he saw Chuck. "Hi man, sit down, I'll get you something. What will it be?"
"Mineral water if
you've got it."
"I'll have some somewhere." Sean opened his mouth to say something, but Mark got there ahead of him.
"Orange with ice, but easy on the ice."
"Perfect."
Mark came back with the drinks as Chuck sat down. Chuck
was sat stiff as a rock on the right of the sofa, Sean was in the middle, and Mark had leant himself against Sean again and
carried on reading. The only part of Sean touching Chuck was where his arm rested on the sofa, it was accidental contact.
Chuck
was Sean's boyfriend, so why did he feel like the friend interupting a couple's night in?
~~~~
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