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She thinks that he's avoiding her, Spock the Ambassador she means. Spock, their Spock, treats her as he as always done,
politely and distantly, but not in an unkindly way. She doesn't think she's done anything to the other one, except for calling
him that in her head. She's not seen him for more than two seconds, and that was at the mass graduation/Enterprise launch
dinner, where she was introduced to him and that was all.
She lets him avoid her, even when they're on-board the same
ship, as they transport Spock the Ambassador to a conference.
Of course, her life is never that simple.
The
turbolift malfunctions and they're stuck together. Christine can maintain a polite silence as well as anyone, but it gets
a little wearing after the fourth hour. He remains absolutely rigid. It makes her want to scream but she knows that would
be totally irrational so she doesn’t. She remains desperate to know what she’s done wrong.
Keenser finally
gets them out of the jam and she’s able to get to work. Dr. McCoy takes the opportunity to rant about technology and
its many evils, which she finds soothing in an odd sort of way. She tells him what happened and how confused she is by Spock
the Ambassador. She later realises that that was her mistake because Dr. McCoy cannot resist sticking his great big oar in
other people’s business, and told Spock. Spock must have told the other Spock, hopefully omitting Dr. McCoy’s
probable comments about pointy eared people with sticks up their asses. This all leads to Spock the Ambassador arriving at
her door while she’s off-duty.
She’s more than a little embarrassed, mortified would be closer her real
feelings, especially when he explains that he has come to put her at ease. This was going to be the turbo-lift all over again.
“It
would appear that you have misinterpreted some of my actions. I need to reassure you that you have done nothing to offend
me and that I do not regard you differently to any other crew member.”
She knows she ought to take the statement
and believe it, but it’s wrong. It’s not that she expects Spock the Ambassador to treat her the way he treats
the senior crew, but she’s seen him literally go down a corridor to avoid her, more than once. She’s not imagining
it; he sometimes changes direction completely when he catches sight of her.
Of course, there’s wanting a real
answer, and then there’s trying to find a way to phrase it that doesn’t make it sound like she’s accusing
one of Starfleet’s most respected ambassadors of lying. Unfortunately, all she can think of is one of McCoy’s
shouts of horse-hockey. She pulls her courage round her, Starfleet needs nursing staff, she’s unlikely to be kicked
out completely, if she's lucky, she'll just get demoted.
“You may not regard me any differently, but you treat
me differently.”
Spock doesn't smile, but his eyebrows relax a little. “I do not know why I tried to hide
the truth from anyone called Christine Chapel. It would appear, no matter which universe I am in, you see what is there, not
what people say.” Christine gets to see something she doesn't think many people have, a Vulcan stuck for words, she
can almost see the Ambassador trying to find the right one, working through what he was saying and discarding the wrong words.
"In the universe I come from, I served on the Enterprise with Christine Chapel; she remains one of the best people I ever
served with." So far, Christine had heard nothing that explained the Ambassador's actions. "However," that was never a good
sign, "for a short period of our friendship our working relationship was somewhat strained due to a ..." he pauses, as though
none of the words he could come up with covered what he wanted to say, "due to a misunderstanding caused by a lack of communication
and I wished to avoid causing you distress if this had also occurred here," she didn't understand what he could mean. He was
making it sound like there was another her out there, what, pining for Spock.
She almost laughs, but then she sees
how uncomfortable Spock looks and stops herself. It was bad enough when you were the one pining, she'd been there, done that,
hello Roger Korby who never said as much as hello to her, but it was worse when you were the object of that kind of pathetic
devotion, particularly if you liked the person, just not that way, see also Anthony Allison, who was a nice boy, but no, and
she just couldn't get him to see it that way.
She tries to come up with an answer that will settle the Ambassador's
nerves. "I'm grateful that you were so concerned about me, but I'm lucky enough that there's no such misunderstanding here."
"I
would never presume to ask."
"Don't worry about it." And now she's safe in smiling and Spock the Ambassador looks relieved.
Spock leaves, and it does clear the air. The Ambassador is a lot less skittish around her, which makes her feel less self-conscious.
She
tries to think why she, any version of herself that she could understand, would fall for Spock. And she can't. It's not that
he's an alien, or that he's a Vulcan, or that he's a vegetarian. He is good looking, in a stiff sort of way, and clever, and
she always did like clever men (see Korby, Roger, damn his hide), but no. And then he's Uhura's whatever, ship's gossip travelling
faster than warp five even if it lacks detail, and maybe that has an effect. Christine wonders what happened in that other
universe.
It’s strange thinking that there’s another her out there, she can accept it theoretically, if
there’s another of most of the rest of the ship’s crew, it makes sense for there to be another her, but it’s
different knowing that she’s not the only Christine Chapel. It makes her wonder all sorts of things, like what makes
her her and not the other Christine. There has to be a difference, something more important, more central to her, than whether
or not she's in love with Spock.
She wonders about the other Christine, what colour hair does she have, is she a nurse,
did she think of going to medical school? She'd ask Spock the Ambassador, except she doesn't know if he knows, plus she didn't
want to push him. She knows that Vulcans aren't supposed to have feelings but their Spock has lost his temper enough times
that she knows that that's more a convenient explanation for something Vulcans don't think Humans will understand, and she
doesn't want to hurt Spock the Ambassador by talking about the universe he can't get back to.
It doesn't stop her wondering.
From what Spock said, the other her is reasonably happy. She only hopes that her life goes that well. So far, so good, she
loves working on the Enterprise, and she's got another four years here.
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