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This film has to have the least coherent opening to a film ever. And yes, I know it all makes sense at the
end, but I want a film to make sense all the way through. Claiming that the whole point is that it isn't linear is no excuse,
neither is 'Pulp Fiction' and that makes sense all the way through.
Apparently in this dystopia we have stopped wearing
bras and shoes. I suddenly see where Cipher is coming from in not wanting to live there. Actually, when you look at what they
come home to, why didn't he like it? Oh I forgot, just try to forget that the first film existed, it is a separate entity.
Really, this is a lot like a book adaptation where the only thing the same is the name.
I did feel like yelling
'stop the pain' during the sex/dancing/whatever scene. Really, I am old enough to know what getting it on involves, and don't
need diagrams, plus I think the audience can figure out that Trinity and Neo are having a sexual relationship.
Okay,
the point must be made that Carrie-Anne Moss is very good looking, but most of the scenes in the film were designed to make
her look less so. Actually that goes for all the major players except for Neo. I really don't need to see Laurence Fishburne's
gut emoting. Wear more clothing dear sir.
Discussing that, if the outfits in Zion are all so neatly kept then why do
they fly the ship in those ratty outfits? 'Cause you think they'd be warmer if they darned those sweaters occasionally.
The
best fight scene had to be the one with Neo against Seraph, the Oracle's guard, because the choreography was good, and at
least some of it was plausible.
Fight plausibilty - dear directors, I am a willing suspender of disbelief, however
if even I start crying out that there is too much CGI, there is too much CGI.
Yes, I'm old fashioned when it comes
to fight scenes.
Counsellor Harman, or however you spell his name, was probably the most interesting character. He
made some very pertinant points about machinery. Are the Zionites any freer from machines than the people in the Matrix?
A
fewer more head scratching technical points. How did they build all that stuff underground? And how did they get there,
since it's supposed to be semi-low tech (steam-punk to once again miss-use the cyber-punk thing), how can they be deep enough
in the Earth's crust to be under magma?
Honestly expected the Counsellor, or Captain Locke, to be the one who had caused
the sabotage.
Of course Merovingian is French. Didn't they guess from the name. (Yes, I've seen Henry V once too often.)
He
was good though. Actually the scenes with him and various members of his entourage were my favourites. And they should be
glad that those swearwords were in French because if my memory isn't incorrect one of them translates to 'cunt' more-or-less.
And
such a wicked thing to do to that girl. Nasty piece of work, but a lot of fun.
Which goes for his wife too. Of
course Persephone rocked. And the name suited her. Okay so I will say that they're good with their names. Loved the line about
the girl, 'not kissing him on his lips.' Very well done part. Did they have to use all those extreme close ups
though.
The vampire henchmen were cute.
And how cool were the ghost twins?
Very, very cool.
And their
accent. Anyone wishing to seduce me ought to take tips from them.
The 'we are aggravated' line will be up there with
'It vexes me, I am terribly vexed,' for a good quote.
Link rocked, as did the Keymaker.
Shall I not go into
the inherent paradoxes involving the Architect. Because there are so many. Here are a few-
1) Okay he says that
Neo is an anomaly thrown up by the programming, doesn't that suggest that Neo isn't entirely human? Unless he's half and half
like Smith/and the Smithettes seem to be.
Which would suggest that the only way of achieving peace would be to make
some sort of pact with the Smiths.
2) Why is Neo surprised when the Architect mentions that there have been others?
Hasn't the Merovingian already told him that. And I quote, 'I killed the others, I will kill you.'
3) If he knew that
Neo would take the Trinity door, doesn't that suggest that it's happened before? I am sick of the contradictions.
Of
course there weren't going to be many survivors, far too many people were promising they'd return for that to happen. Action
film cliche number 3. What's the betting that the number of survivors is similar to the number the Architect mentioned as
being the re-starters of Zion?
Am I the only one who laughed at the end of the film? I mean, come on, did they have
to have such over the top 'beware, danger' music.
Actually discussing that, is the survivor (Brent?) a Smith or something
else again.
Is it only the first Smith that can make more Smiths, or can they all do it, do you suppose?
Discussing
Smith, despite having actually very little to say, he owned the film. And was once again making sense. Much with the Smith
liking.
Overall impression - good, but not that good. 7/10
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